Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I'm going to cry...

Due to a huge error I made in our checkbook last payday, we had some large overdraft charges appear. I finally got it all figured out (while losing $300 in the process) and thought things were fine. I just checked my account online and see where I'm overdrawn again. It looks like it's still due to the mistake I made 2 weeks ago. This is driving me nuts! To make matters worse, my car broke down again. So now I'll have to pay overdraft charges again, which will take what little extra money I had, and I won't be able to get my car fixed, possibly not even be able to pay all my bills.

Hubby and I have decided we might need to sell a few things to help get ahead. Our budget is just too tight. We had discussed selling my piano, which I dearly love. I don't really want to, but have considered it since it isn't a necessity. hubby said it was up to me. He doesn't want me to sell it unless I want to. It now looks like I have no choice. I just put it up for sale on craigslist. I'll cry when/if that piano sells. It's like a part of me and I'll miss it a lot. I could sit down and play a song, which would always allow me to express my feelings at the time. It can also be relaxing to me. Normally when I'm this sad, I could sit down and play my favorite "sad mood" song - Master The Tempest Is Raging - and I'd feel better. But not tonight. Tonight sitting at the piano will only make it harder on me. I don't think I'll be able to touch the keys again. This may sound silly to some. I know it's just a thing and things can be replaced. But this thing has some serious sentimental value and it will be hard letting go of it.

Don't worry about my emotional eating issues. For the first time in my life I'm too emotional to even eat. I'm sick at my stomach over it all.

If you've bothered reading this far, allow me say thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder, so to speak.... I'm gonna go get some tissue.

UPDATE: After a good nights sleep I decided I should delete this post. But now looking at it I'm going to leave it. Maybe someone else is dealing with this stuff and will feel better by reading my honest feelings. Life isn't all Skittles and Rainbows all the time. Anyway, as far as an update... I checked my online statement again this morning, hoping this time I'd see where I goofed, and now I'm confused. It now says I'm not overdrawn (Thank you God!!!) and my checkbook is matching up. I have no idea what was going on last night, but the statement totals and my totals were almost $200 off. I guess it could have just been a glitch in the system. Whatever it was, I'm thankful it's fixed now. I'm still selling the piano, but maybe someday soon I can find a replacement. I've always wanted a digital piano, so maybe things will work out that way later, when I don't have quite so many payments to make.


Jane said...

You don't know me, but I hope you don't sell your piano. Is there some freelance work you can do to bring in a little extra money?

Sparky's Girl said...

Hi Jane! Thanks for commenting. I secretly hope the piano doesn't sell either. LOL How mixed up is that?

I've been trying to find ways to work a little to help with the income. I have two children so it's tough, because I can't afford daycare. I'm a photographer (still in school) and I'm trying to put some prints together to sell online. I hope some of those will sell once I get it set up. I've done a little babysitting. But so far nothing big enough has happened to really be much help. If you have any ideas I'm certainly open to listening to them.

Thanks again for commenting and for your nice words.