It Be That Time Again

Swanky photo by Strangeguy @ sxc.hu

We`ve waited fer 't all voyage long. Today be Sept. 19th! That means 't be me favorite holiday - Talk Like A Pirate Day!

For ye landlubbers that be new t' this distinguished tradition, two scallywags decided that talkin' like a gentleman o' fortune be fun an' ortin' ta be havin' 'tis own holiday. Arr!!! I wholeheartedly agree! Mr. Dave Barry (aye, THAT Dave Barry) helped th' fella`s get `er goin' from thar.

So how do ye take part in such a classy celebration involvin' grunts n` growls n` other such fantastical noises, th' likes ye`ve nereheard before? First, ye needs a name!

Me name for this year be:

Cap'n Jean Mauvebeard

And don't ye be forgettin' it!

To find yer sea dog name, ye can use th' fancy name generator machine. Just click here.

Then, If ye new swabbies canna figure ou' seafarin' hearty language, ye can always use the pirate translator.

Now, go ou' an' don yer eye patch, peg leg an' smelly parrot. Show th' world ye`re proud t' be a gentleman o' fortune! (Or a lunatic. But I prefer th' former.)

Fun with Photos

Hey everyone, completely non-low-carb post ahead:

I just wanted to share some fun I'm having with photoshop right now. My kids have always wondered what it would be like to be a twin, so tonight I let them see it, through the magic of photography and photoshop. Hope you enjoy....

A pillow fight... with yourself?




DS dueling - Who won?

Wake - Up!

Just a little something for you cat lovers out there... Enjoy! :0)



(Sorry if this isn't working yet.. blogger has to approve the vidoes first. So please be patient while we see how this works.)

Pregnancy Q&A (funny)

Just something funny for the parents out there. Enjoy!

Pregnancy Q & A

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes , in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

Your Name Dictates Your Job (just for fun)

A friend of mine sent me an excel sheet that is rather amusing. You type in your name and it tells you what your ideal job would be. I have no way of sharing here, but I'd be glad to email it to anyone interested in trying it out. Here are a few examples:

My married name: Lumberjack (don't think I quite have the physique for this one..)
My maiden name: Brain Surgeon (Are they saying getting married lowered my IQ?? LOL)
My Son's name: Movie Star (over my dead body)
My Daughter's name: Monkey Impressionist (actually.. she does this quite well at the age of 8)
My Husband's name: Psycho-Therapist (good.. now I'll get free treatments..)
My Mom: Soap Actor - ie. River City (there are some possibilities here...)
My Dad: Soap Actor - ie. River City (their names are very much alike.. but this doesn't fit my dad at all)
My Sister: Jungle Explorer (I. Don't. Think. So.)
My Brother #1: Professional Tramp (I almost spewed protein shake out my nose on this one..)
My Brother #2: Mime Artist (Uh.. yeah. He's more likely to be the guy you see beating up the mime because he thinks they are annoying..)

You can also get interesting variations if you use your middle name with your last name, or if you use all three names. Examples:

My full married name: Animal Therapist (I'm all for this one. Bring me your pet, I'll talk to it, make up something I think sounds good, you hand me 100 bucks)
My full maiden name: Quiz Show Contestant (no thanks)
My middle and married last name: God (Uh.. that job is taken by someone MUCH more qualified than me, so I'll pass)
My middle and maiden last name: Nice Old Man (WHAT?!? And all these years I thought I'd be an old lady. Shows what I know..)
My Son's middle and last: Dodgem Driver (Bumper cars?)
My Daughter's middle and last: Panto Dame (I just looked this up - it's an older woman usually played by a man in drag. Again, don't think so..)
My Husband's middle and last: Soap Actor - ie. River City (this seems to be a popular answer)


So, if you love wasting time on ridiculous stuff like this, as I sometimes do, fire me off an email and I'll send the sheet to you. Just keep in mind you need Microsoft Excel to open it. Have Fun!