Monday, March 12, 2007

Just for laughs..

This isn't low-carb, or even diet related, but a friend sent me this and it just cracked me up. Especially #10! My sense of humor is probably going to get me into trouble some day...

Oh.. I'd better add the disclaimer: This is just a joke. Do not try any of the recommendations below! (I know my readers are too intelligent to believe these are actual remedies.. but you never know who will really try this stuff and then sue you for their stupidity.)


Amazing Home Remedies


1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.


2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.


3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.


4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.


5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.


6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.


7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.


8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.


9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.


10. SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES.......... THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT..... THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.

4 comments:

Fat Victoria said...

#8 and 10 are my favorites. My eyes were watering I was laughing so hard!

Sparky's Girl said...

So does this mean we're both twisted because we find these funny? ;) #6 is a favorite of mine as well, in a gross, demented kind of way. LOL

TESS said...

Nothing like a good laugh to get you going. Loved them all esp the last in capital letters! i know a few people i would like to apply this to.

Sparky's Girl said...

We must know the same people Tess! LOL